Updated: Oct 10, 2022
Let us start by discussing what we spend on other things:
I know that I used to spend a lot of money on buying home yoga, pilates and programmes in my search for something that might help me get into shape at home in a small amount of time (don't have a lot of spare time!). Something that might shrink my menopausal tummy and make me feel more human! I have also spent lots on things like make up, until not wearing it through the lockdowns has made me see I don't need to wear it all the time. Actually who am I kidding, I still buy more than I need to! Lots of people spend lots on going to the gym. Others spend loads on clothes, make up, other gadgets or accessories all in an attempt to make them feel or look better or help them make life easier. What have you bought in the last year that was just to make you feel happy, feel better about yourself, fill a void or even that you were hoping to fix an issue?! I know I am guilty of buying things to make me feel better or to fix issues as it's an inbuilt feeling or belief that has been established by clever marketing campaigns and once you give in and that doesn't quite work you try something else!! Am I right?! I, myself, am still weaning myself off the habit and would hate to tot up how much I have actually spent over a period of a year!! I am good at hunting down a bargain or only buying when there is a deal - but even small amounts all add up and money is money! But are any of these things we are spending all this money on actually making us feel better or would we not be better to work on our mental health, feeling better inside and out?! Without good mental health it doesn't matter how much we try and buy distractions, cover it up we are going to have to keep spending as nothing inside is going to change!
So how much do we spend on our mental health?
Stuff that really is for the good of our mental health? Not a lot as we just expect ourselves to develop, get over stuff, to just get better! We might do some bits of self care that help and are good for us, which keep us ticking along. But If we were to just stop and think for a second about whether what we are purchasing is really, really essential we could set aside the money saved and allocate it to working on ourselves. But why do we not do that? Is it because we have nothing physical to show for it at the end so feel it's not money well spent? Or because it means allocating time and money to it and sometimes rather a lot of time! Or do we feel guilty spending money on ourselves? Where as we justify that clothes, make up, gadgets are a necessity we can't do without, they're useful?!
But what is more important than:
how we feel,
how we deal with life challenges,
how we cope with day to day life,
how we recover from trauma or loss,
how we deal with old habits or beliefs that are no longer working for us or benifiting our lives today,
how we develop a better mindset to enable us to be more confident, less stressed, have better relationships with others and more importantly ourselves?
These things should be far more important and a highly valued commodity as they effect our lives, our relationships and our ability to function on an ongoing basis.
Is self-care enough? We can all do a bit of self-care like taking time for ourselves, having a nice soak in the bath, a pamper night, night out with friends, calling a friend, walks out in the fresh air, a nourishing meal, writing down things that have gone well or that we are grateful for etc. These things don't cost the earth and can be the first step to caring for ourselves. As is having a faith and focusing on that. Showing daily gratitude attracts more to be grateful for. For some of us just doing these things is enough.
But if you are on a looping cycle of feeling low, anxious, low self confidence, low self esteem. constantly doubting your abilities, not sure where life is going, plagued by a negative mindset, feeling rubbish about yourself, ruled by old habits or beliefs that are just not working for you anymore, struggling with life, struggling to overcome a trauma or loss you might need extra help and support. So do you feel able to reach out, to seek that help or are you not yet valuing your mental health and how much it effects your everyday life?! How about if you were to work on yourself and your whole life would improve, grow, develop and bloom? Would you do it then? Well do it!
By seeking help you are not being selfish, insular or anything of the kind as by improving your life you may infact be improving the lives of all around you. A self inflated ego is dangerous but a better understanding of why you have been feeling the way you have, or why you are struggling, or that you have been triggered by past events or that you have been recovering from trauma helps, it allows you to alter, to operate, to develop, to adapt, to live more successfully in the ever changing and developing world we find ourselves living in and that is ok. So how much have you saught help, spent on therapies or done something about the way you are feeling?
But it can be expensive I hear you say!
Well yes it can appear to be expensive and take so long! Let me tell you my experience, but please read on till the end as I have found a far better, far faster route than mine! I know that for a year in my early thirties I made regular trips to see a lovely Psychologist to help me understand my feelings and emotions. My relationship was falling apart, I had three wonderful children who were my world, but I felt emotionally drained and emotionally flat inside. I wanted to be someone for my children to look up to and certainly didn't want them to feel like I did, ever. It was £40 a session (20 years ago). I started off going every other week but then had to reduce it down to once a month to try and afford to keep going, as after only a few sesions I really didn't feel like I had got too far with it all. The sessions were great and I always came out feeling better than when I went in, but it was a slow process as in every session we had to go over old ground, discuss what was still hard for me. This was like picking at the wound but never healing it and although I now didn't feel like I was to blame for everything that was going wrong and could see my life more from others perspective, inside I really hadn't shifted.
I then did a womans retreat and again learnt a bit more about what I was going through and how it effected me but not how to heal. I became a single parent continuing my recovery by reading lots of self-help books. I even started to train as a life coach. All this taught me a bit more about myself but again inside I had not had a huge shift, I was just slowly improving. But what the life coach training gave me was some life coaching sessions which encouraged me to push myself out of my comfort zone and I booked myself on a singles holiday! On this holiday I met my now husband. Which was a very happy bonus but it wasn't the reason for going on the holiday at all, I really didn't want to complicate my life at that time! But complicate it I did, all for the better and being in this relationship has given me so much. It boosted my growth and development. I still continued with the healing process as I feared past issues revisiting my life and it was only in 2020 that I really came across what I found to be the answer.
This could be your solution like it was mine
I was scrolling the internet in between trying to keep my business afloat through a pandemic and I discovered a clip of Marisa Peer talking about RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy) and what it could do. Everything she was saying so resonated with me as the perfect way to help myself and others I care about. I was so taken in that I decided I really wanted to go on to train to deliver RTT myself. I can honestly say having completed the training, and having had some sessions off colleagues myself, it doesn't have to take years! I have learnt more about myself through RTT than anything else. I got to really understand what had made me the way I was.Within a couple of sessions, I had resolved important issues that were holding me back, all with great success. It all really made sense and I was finally able to put it behind me, feel great about myself and really enjoy life. In fact after the session I had on confidence I was buzzing. I felt elated. I took part in six sessions during my training and honestly began to think what could I possibly work on next, as so much had been resolved in previous sessions. I dealt with confidence, fear of the unknown, imposter syndrome and menopause symptoms.
The best thing about RTT is that you discover where those beliefs, feelings, habits or thoughts originated, why they are still effecting you now and with that knowledge you can then let go of them, upgrading them for beliefs, feelings, habits or thoughts that work with you and benefit your life today. So quick and easy. I've overcome so many fears and hurdles. I have a much better outlook on life and even my business is doing so much better. My mission now is to help as many people of all ages as I can to #feelheapsbetter themselves. If you would really like to join the many that have been helped by RTT, and you are truly ready to work on yourself, and you would like to discuss how I might be able to help - Please do get in touch - as I can't wait to work with you.